You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
