I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
