Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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