Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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