I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
