People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
