that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We are all done wearing pants today
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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