Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
