I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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