if only i could text you this smell
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just high enough for therapy.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
