Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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