When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
