Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
