i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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