guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
