i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
