and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
