also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
