So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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