i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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