the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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