My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
