So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Still dying that you shit outside
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
