i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I had to cum in my sink.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
