so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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