Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
