I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
