You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
