i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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