dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
