I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
