her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I would ride that face into the sunset
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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