Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
