the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
