Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
