You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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