Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
