Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
