You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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