you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
