Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
