they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So much Jack, so little girl.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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