i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
