omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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