I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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