if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
