Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Randomize
