Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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