is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
