I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
