In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I need a burrito and a hug.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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