Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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